Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
