please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
