Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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