yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
