best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
