I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize