I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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