what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
