Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize