The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
