just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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