This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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