Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
