nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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