i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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