Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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