YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just want to make out with him forever
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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