she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
