If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
