my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize