HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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