dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize