I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
