i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
