Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
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