Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
