That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
