If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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