i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
how does that bad decision feel?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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