i may or may not be watching the land before time
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
