I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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