Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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