just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize