My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
