yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
