i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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