dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
