And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
