Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
