So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
