I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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