he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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