Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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