Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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