We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
