he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
