Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
