My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
