so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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