i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
