they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
