I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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