Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
