my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
