Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
