You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
