You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
