Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
