Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize