Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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