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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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