Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize