She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
