yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
