When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
