it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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