i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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