As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
