I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
