fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
