I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
