if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
